


His hands are rich with gems and gold

by lloydsglasses



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Gen, Gold Sickness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 04:47:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3837655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lloydsglasses/pseuds/lloydsglasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles about the effects of the Gold Sickness on Thorin and those around him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The mountain throne once more is freed

The worst thing is that Thorin knows what’s happening. Or part of him does, at least. He’s seen gold sickness before, after all. He can recognise the signs.

So he sees himself change. He sees himself hold a sword to Bilbo’s chest and a distant part of him cries out in fear. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. 

But he can’t make himself stop, and when the dragon is gone that little part of him can do nothing but watch in disgust as he turns away from the destruction of Esgaroth and, as if pulled by some invisible string, marches back to his treasury. He has never felt so betrayed, because where the flame of his heart has always burned bright for Erebor now his blood sings with only the endless need for gold; for the Arkenstone. It is like he has been consumed piece by piece, until only this small part of him remains to look on in horror.

Thorin wonders how long it will be before that’s gone too.

\--

“They are dying out there.”

It takes a while for the words to register, and when they finally do it’s so hard to make sense of them. He thinks they’re supposed to make him feel something but he can’t remember what. It hardly matters. As long as the gold is kept safe. 

“You sit here in these vast halls, with a crown upon your head. And yet you are lesser now than you have ever been.”

 _Yes,_ that faraway part of him thinks, _yes, I am. But I don’t remember why._

“Do not speak to me as if I were some lowly dwarf lord. As if I were still–” What is it? What is his name? 

_Thorin._

_Oakenshield._

“I am your King!”

No. He is not. This is not the king that Thorin Oakenshield ever wanted to be.

“You were always my king. You used to know that once. You cannot see what you have become.”

But he can. He can see and suddenly it’s as if he is drowning. He is drowning in a sea that glistens golden and he doesn’t know if he can escape.

“Go. Get out. Before I kill you.” 

His oldest friend walks away, and Thorin fights to break loose.

\--

The burglar is clutching his hand. It is cowardly to welcome death now, he knows that, but he can’t help but be glad. He doesn’t think he could bear to live with the knowledge of his own weakness, or with the fear that he might succumb to it again. His life is not a huge loss, he reflects. Erebor will still have its king. Kili is young, but he will make a better ruler than Thorin proved to. 

As the world around him begins to fade and Bilbo’s pleas grow fainter, Thorin registers distantly that it’s a relief to be swimming in darkness rather than in pools of gold.


	2. Now the days pass slowly

Bilbo doesn’t know how long it’s been since the dragon died. In the darkness of a ruined mountain kingdom it’s hard to measure the passage of days; time seems irrelevant when you’re stuck on an endless repeat of the same moment.

And Thorin is stuck, which means the rest of them are too. 

It’s even more unbearable than the weeks they spent in the halls of the Elvenking, Bilbo thinks. Then he was lonely because his friends had been imprisoned. Now he is surrounded by his friends, but never has he felt more alone in his entire life. 

He toys with the idea of giving up the Arkenstone. Thorin would be happy if he did, he imagines, and he truly believes that Thorin is due some happiness. If nothing else it might break up this wretched monotony.

But… Thorin is changed. The lust for gold consumes more and more of him as time moves on (or stands still, Bilbo isn’t sure). Thorin has always seemed possessed of a single-minded determination but this… This is something else entirely. Bilbo doesn’t know what to do. He just knows that he can’t bear to watch as all the goodness in his friend is twisted into something sickening.

He takes to wandering the vast halls of the mountain instead. The dwarves were right: Erebor is glorious, even though it’s in ruins. Bilbo hates it all the same. More than anything he hates how oppressive the air feels; it’s stifling. The kingdom is huge and empty but Bilbo feels as if he can’t breathe. Most days he sits for long hours upon the battlements, eyes closed, relishing the gentle caress of the wind on his face. He misses the Shire.

He can’t bear this. He can’t stay here, in these hollow halls where time seems to stand still. He can’t watch placidly as his friend loses more and more of himself to greed. 

So he leaves, and he takes the Arkenstone with him.

And once Bilbo reaches Dale, once he’s passed through the stillness of the dragon’s desolation, he finds elves and men and women and children and a flurry of activity. He sucks in a deep breath, and time stutters back to life.

**Author's Note:**

> The way they depicted the gold sickness in the films really annoyed me, because a) it's supposed to be a very extreme form of greed rather than some hereditary family illness, and b) that was genuinely a shocking depiction of mental illness - because _of course_ people can just shake it off once they decide to get better. Ugh. So I've kind of taken in my head to thinking about it as a magical curse that Smaug put on the gold (which still annoys me because REASONS but what else can I do?), so it's an outside force that is the root of the problem, which is kind of what I had in my head when I was writing these drabbles.
> 
> Anyway, I have [tumblr,](http://lloydsglasses.tumblr.com) so come chat with me if you too like discussing what the films got wrong! ;)


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